Jess sat on the couch with a look of shame across her face. Jeremy had a distant expression as he waited for an explanation. Why? When? With who? WHY? At that moment, with my support, Jess was able to begin atoning for her actions. By the conclusion of the session, Jeremey was actively listening and able to consider forgiveness. 

Couples can recover from infidelity and build an even stronger connection. With the support of a knowledgeable therapist, the willingness of the couple, and a few key clinical elements rebuilding can happen. 

Here are some tips to help you and your partner work through infidelity:

• Create a safe environment where the total truth of the affair can be revealed.
• Determine if you both value the relationship and feel it is worth saving. Are you both committed and view the relationship as valuable?
• Begin repairing trust through transparency.
• Build your emotional connection with one another by talking, spending time together, and prioritizing the relationship. 
• Read the book What Makes Love Last by John Gottman, Ph.D.

So, what happened to Jess and Jeremy? Jess continued to atone for the affair. She worked hard to rebuild trust. Both worked together to renew their relationship. They gained a better understanding of one another with improved communication skills and emotional vulnerability. Physical intimacy was reintroduced and became enjoyable to them both. This was not an easy road for them, but their commitment to each other and willingness to reinvest in their relationship saved their marriage. 

If your relationship has been affected by an affair, reach out to Robin to determine a comfortable path forward.